I always try to do everything by myself. that’s why I always fail. i have no support when i make a mistake. i just punish myself into depression. i’m too hard on myself. and there’s no one there to remind me that it will be okay and tell me to keep moving… at least long enough for me to be able to think like that for myself.
i need mentors. i need senseis.
need to remember not to spill my innermost feelings into callous palms. into bodies that will view me as tragic, different, changed. who will pity me and then shove words like ‘think positively’ down my throat.
this is not emancipation. this is a wilful imprisonment in my own mind and now in theirs too.
it is extremely belittling to be moulded into a single image of what you are feeling/going through at a particular time. this is suffocation. reductionism.
I’m having a love affair with my eyes…